Monday, March 21, 2005

Dread and Bliss

by AJ

Lately Ive resorted to twisted logical analysis to examine my current working situation. I draw elaborate lists of pros & cons. I enumerate the issues which are troubling me and seek to identify solutions. I think of ways to negotiate these things with my bosses. I wrangle with myself, constantly wondering //what is the right thing to do?//.

Such is the left-brained analytic approach. But, of course, I already know. Its very very simple. When I think of going to work at my current job, I feel a wave of dread.

Then I remember how I felt when I was teaching (part-tuime) in Georgia. Id think of my class and experience a rush of excitement. I was thrilled to teach them. I rushed to class. I lingered afterwards.

That sums it up. I need no other analysis. Work which brings me happiness is good work. Work that fires my enthusiasm is good work. Work that interests me and empowers me is good work.

So too the opposite: a job that saps my energy is a bad job. A job that kills my enthusiasm is a bad job. A job that makes me feel powerless and controlled is a bad job.

I dont need to explain it --Nor justify it. These feelings speak for themselves.

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