Im a man without a home. Though born and raised in America, I no longer consider America my home. I feel no special loyalty to the place.
Nor do I belong to another country. Though I loved Japan and the Japanese people, I
knew I could never be accepted as a part of their society. Id always be an outsider.
The same is true of Thailand. I love this country. But Ill never be Thai. In the future I may travel and live in Central or South America. Perhaps Ill settle in Mexico. Or Ecuador. But Ill never be Mexican. Nor Ecuadoran. Maybe Ill make my way to
Europe some day. But I will never be European.
This depressed me for some time. I dwelt on the negative. I felt lonely and disconnected. But lately Ive flipped my perspective. I realize that if no particular place is home... it can also be said that everywhere is my home.
And that feels true. I feel very comfortable in a variety of places. I loved Hiroshima. I loved the beautiful, sweet natured, poised Japanese people. I loved the trees. I loved the bike paths. I loved the public transportation system. I felt at home in Hiroshima. I love the city and I love the country (except for the job situation... which is another problem entirely.. one that seems to transcend borders!!).
And I feel comfortable in Thailand. I love the spicy food. I love the controlled chaos. I love the laid-back attitude. I love the islands and the mountains. I love the temples. I love the tolerance of other religions.
My perspective is broadening. I identify myself with humanity at large now... not with the tiny worldview of America and Americans only.
As I do so, a sense of loss is replaced by a feeling of tremendous gain. Of freedom.
The entire world seems open to me.
There are benefits to homelessness, after all.