Friday, June 03, 2005

Jessica's Birthday

by AJ

Today is Jessica's birthday. It feels strange... to think she died three years ago. It feels like a long time, and an instant. Much has changed.

Most of the changes have been for the better. The rawness and pain has faded, but a deep sense of loss still lingers. And there is still an element of unreality for me. Because I travel so much... I forget... still unconsciously imagine that she is back in the States doing fine, living her life. That is not the case.

But time does heal. At this point, I remember mostly the good things about her. I feel tremendous gratitude for all she gave me. I remember her smile, her laughter, her energy. Much of the pain has faded.... while the positive memories intensify.

I heard good news this week. Jon, Jessica's husband, has remarried. Im happy for him as well.

I hope this is the case for all who knew Jessica... that time has healed, that pain has subsided, that loving memories have intesified....

And I hope we remember her as she would have wished to be remembered: with smiles and laughter.


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