by Skald
Im trying to contain my fury... but its not working.
To be blunt-- I dont like America and Im not thrilled about being here. Everyday I ask myself, "why am I back here?". At first I tried to convince myself that it was a good decision. But Im running out of believable positive answers.
What I see is a civilization in its death throes. Some Americans ask, "Why do they hate us?". Im amazed when I ponder, "Why dont they ALL hate us?" Just what the hell do some foreigners admire? In truth... mostly its an image of boundless wealth. In other words, lies and propaganda.
My first impressions are of a sick, infantile society. Americans... and particularly American men... strike me as emotionally and intellectually retarded compared to their Asian peers. My "conversations" with men here have been confined to the following topics:
Dumbass jokes about bodily functions... not unsimilar to the conversations I had when I was 12 years old.
Vile demeaning comments about women.
Idiotic posturing to appear "cool".
Jokes about "fags" or "homos" (which always makes me suspect the teller is repressing something :)
Endless chatter about media virtual-reality (bands, movies, TV shows)... ie. "Did you see Survivor last night. Wow"
That pretty much covers it. I return to my own country... where everyone speaks my native language... and find I have nothing to say to people.... and can't bear to listen to them. I had much better conversations in Thailand and Japan.. with non-native English speakers. They may have struggled for words, but they had ideas. Americans, on the other hand, talk all the time... but say nothing. And so I find myself sitting silently... Occasionally shaking my head and wondering, "How can grown men act like this?"
To escape the awkward silence, the guys will often turn on the TV. Last time, they switched on Comedy Central. For three hours I was bombarded with despicable "jokes" about ethnic stereotypes and insulting comments about women.... this is the American norm for "comedy".
When I walk outside, everywhere I look I see fat people.... overweight, self-indulgent, spoiled, bratty, impatient, cranky.
Within the country, Americans cling to the notion that they live in "the best country in the world". For decades, their immensely powerful media convinced a lot of foreigners of this notion too. But no longer. Americans may still believe the bullshit, but the rest of the world is waking up to the truth. In Europe. In the Middle East. In Latin America. In Asia.
They are seeing what I see. And it aint pretty.
Wednesday, December 14, 2005
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
Poverty, Deprivation, Surface Wealth, Diversity
by Skald
SF is a great and wretched city. My first nervous impressions: hordes of beggars, bums, and homeless people filtered throughout the downtown area. Compared to their Thai and Japanese peers, these folks seem more beaten... more aggressive... less dignified.
They gather in clusters in the Van Ness/Civic Center area. Some have signs. Some approach you. Many approach you.
They tend to be blunt-- with attitude. In Athens, most beggars either sat quietly, or offered a sad story. Generally, they were polite (now theres a nice Southern trait). But the folks here border on unfriendly. When Ive declined to give, some mutter or grumble under their breath.
Then there are the stories of crime. My good friend was beaten up by a group of guys in the Mission district. A Thai student at my school was robbed, in his apartment, at gunpoint.
After two years in Thailand and Japan... this place FEELS dangerous. I can now imagine how Asian tourists perceive American cities... and why they have the impression that this is a dangerous country (which it is, compared to most Asian countries).
This collection of human misery is in the middle of the upscale core of the city. These folks shuffle along in front of Macy's, The Apple Store, Old Navy, etc.. Wealthy Californians and tourists stroll side by side with the poorest of the poor. Its a sad situation. Hard not to ask, "Cant a little of this wealth be diverted to help these people?" (I suppose we need all the money we can get to keep the Iraqis under our thumbs).
Finally, a very positive observation. SF is an extremely diverse city. In many ways, its a mix of Asia and American. The Asian population is huge here. Huge! In some neighborhoods its easy to imagine that Im back in Japan or Thailand. In addition to the many Asian-Americans and Asian immigrants, there is also a huge Latino population (mostly concentrated in The Mission, it seems).
Of course there are many African-Americans... and the city is rightfully famous for its large and diverse Gay population.
The diversity, and the international flavor of the place, is why Im here.
SF is the progressive, multi-cultural, leading-edge capital of America. And while the worst of the country's poverty and inequality is on display here.. so too is the promise of a new America... one that finally embraces the potential of its immigrant roots.
SF is a great and wretched city. My first nervous impressions: hordes of beggars, bums, and homeless people filtered throughout the downtown area. Compared to their Thai and Japanese peers, these folks seem more beaten... more aggressive... less dignified.
They gather in clusters in the Van Ness/Civic Center area. Some have signs. Some approach you. Many approach you.
They tend to be blunt-- with attitude. In Athens, most beggars either sat quietly, or offered a sad story. Generally, they were polite (now theres a nice Southern trait). But the folks here border on unfriendly. When Ive declined to give, some mutter or grumble under their breath.
Then there are the stories of crime. My good friend was beaten up by a group of guys in the Mission district. A Thai student at my school was robbed, in his apartment, at gunpoint.
After two years in Thailand and Japan... this place FEELS dangerous. I can now imagine how Asian tourists perceive American cities... and why they have the impression that this is a dangerous country (which it is, compared to most Asian countries).
This collection of human misery is in the middle of the upscale core of the city. These folks shuffle along in front of Macy's, The Apple Store, Old Navy, etc.. Wealthy Californians and tourists stroll side by side with the poorest of the poor. Its a sad situation. Hard not to ask, "Cant a little of this wealth be diverted to help these people?" (I suppose we need all the money we can get to keep the Iraqis under our thumbs).
Finally, a very positive observation. SF is an extremely diverse city. In many ways, its a mix of Asia and American. The Asian population is huge here. Huge! In some neighborhoods its easy to imagine that Im back in Japan or Thailand. In addition to the many Asian-Americans and Asian immigrants, there is also a huge Latino population (mostly concentrated in The Mission, it seems).
Of course there are many African-Americans... and the city is rightfully famous for its large and diverse Gay population.
The diversity, and the international flavor of the place, is why Im here.
SF is the progressive, multi-cultural, leading-edge capital of America. And while the worst of the country's poverty and inequality is on display here.. so too is the promise of a new America... one that finally embraces the potential of its immigrant roots.
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
Welcome to SF
by Skald
Jet lagged, tinged with lysergic acid,.... stumbling through the Mission District. Dodging drunks and junkies till we reach Delirium... right through the rabbit hole. I sit in rapturous stupor-- perma-grin. A wild Asian girl flirts with me, motions me to dance, tells me Im old, scoffs at me, then flirts again.... I remain silent, motionless, and bewildered throughout the drama.
As we leave, this same girl and her friend get in a hair-pullling, fist-swinging fight with another girl outside the bar. Guys come to the entrance and laugh... egg them on. One yells, "I love this bar".
I dont. The attitude, cockiness, poverty, and violence are too much for me right now.. just off the plane from Asia. I miss the gentler streets of Bangkok & Osaka. I miss the gentler people.
Other than the obscene fatness of folks, what strikes me first about America is the anger and violence. Everyone seems annoyed or pissed off. Theres a kind of strutting attitude. Its there in the self-righteous liberal cyclists... who scream at any car that dares "cut them off". Its there in the aggresive panhandlers... who mumble insults at those who dont give them money.
What is the source of this anger? Materially, these people have far more than the Thais... even more than the Japanese. But maybe thats the point. Americans have invested their lives in THINGS. Not people. Not each other.
Another immediate impression was how lonely and desolate America feels. This is a major US city, but it feels empty to me. There are hardly any people walking on the street. Everyone is sealed up in their cars.. safe from everyone else. Bangkok's streets are full of people. So too Osaka's. And even Hiroshima's. My little Bangkok neighborhood, late at night, had more people walking around than does my friend's SF neighborhood... at peak daytime.
Where are all the people? Why are they so spread out? Why do they hide in their homes and cars?
At first impression, America seems a ghostly place. Spread out. Mechanized. Lonely.
Jet lagged, tinged with lysergic acid,.... stumbling through the Mission District. Dodging drunks and junkies till we reach Delirium... right through the rabbit hole. I sit in rapturous stupor-- perma-grin. A wild Asian girl flirts with me, motions me to dance, tells me Im old, scoffs at me, then flirts again.... I remain silent, motionless, and bewildered throughout the drama.
As we leave, this same girl and her friend get in a hair-pullling, fist-swinging fight with another girl outside the bar. Guys come to the entrance and laugh... egg them on. One yells, "I love this bar".
I dont. The attitude, cockiness, poverty, and violence are too much for me right now.. just off the plane from Asia. I miss the gentler streets of Bangkok & Osaka. I miss the gentler people.
Other than the obscene fatness of folks, what strikes me first about America is the anger and violence. Everyone seems annoyed or pissed off. Theres a kind of strutting attitude. Its there in the self-righteous liberal cyclists... who scream at any car that dares "cut them off". Its there in the aggresive panhandlers... who mumble insults at those who dont give them money.
What is the source of this anger? Materially, these people have far more than the Thais... even more than the Japanese. But maybe thats the point. Americans have invested their lives in THINGS. Not people. Not each other.
Another immediate impression was how lonely and desolate America feels. This is a major US city, but it feels empty to me. There are hardly any people walking on the street. Everyone is sealed up in their cars.. safe from everyone else. Bangkok's streets are full of people. So too Osaka's. And even Hiroshima's. My little Bangkok neighborhood, late at night, had more people walking around than does my friend's SF neighborhood... at peak daytime.
Where are all the people? Why are they so spread out? Why do they hide in their homes and cars?
At first impression, America seems a ghostly place. Spread out. Mechanized. Lonely.
Wednesday, November 09, 2005
Starting Over
by Skald
One thing about the Hobopoet life.. its rarely dull. Not much routine. These last two years are the closest Ive come to "stability" in quite a while... but they too have been marked by constant change.
And now another big one is on the horizon. While my external circumstances are definitely changing... the biggest near-future challenge for me is an internal one.
Up till now, Ive devoted my energies to escape. Ive successfully escaped full time wage slavery. Ive learned to live simply. Ive DRASTICALLY reduced the need to work... while drastically improving the freedom to work ratio. As a result, each year has been more enjoyable. Im more enthusiastic and energetic than Ive ever been. In short, Im having a great time.
But there's been something missing. Up till now, Ive needed to focus on resistence and escape. But that phase is closing. Ive been successful.... there's no use beating that horse forever.
Now that Ive destroyed the old wage slave life, I can move on to creating something. It is time to create an independent freelance income. It is time to become truly self-reliant. It is time to completely break free from bosses in all their forms.
When I first broke from all semblance of living a "mainstream" life, I was terrified. I admit it. Just prior to my first experience at car living.. I was nervous, afraid, stressed, worried. A million bogie-men filled my thoughts. I imagined failure and humiliation. I imagined misery. I knew I would become undatable and doomed to loneliness. I admire people who face such challenges with bravado and audacity. But Im not one of them. My bravado comes after the fact!
And so, as I face this next big challenge, I am again terrified. I again imagine horrible failure and humiliation. I doubt my ability to earn a freelance income. I worry that I will be hungry. I worry that Ill be forced into fulltime wage slavery and have to eat all my words here on Hobopoet. I can already hear the critics and devil's advocates saying, "I told you so".
Luckily, Ive been here before. At the beginning of an enterprise, I lack bravado and I lack courage. I lack confidence.
But I do have one ally that has continuously seen me through--
Stubborn persistence.
Lacking brains, guts, and talent... I know I can always depend on persistence to push me through the doubts.
One thing about the Hobopoet life.. its rarely dull. Not much routine. These last two years are the closest Ive come to "stability" in quite a while... but they too have been marked by constant change.
And now another big one is on the horizon. While my external circumstances are definitely changing... the biggest near-future challenge for me is an internal one.
Up till now, Ive devoted my energies to escape. Ive successfully escaped full time wage slavery. Ive learned to live simply. Ive DRASTICALLY reduced the need to work... while drastically improving the freedom to work ratio. As a result, each year has been more enjoyable. Im more enthusiastic and energetic than Ive ever been. In short, Im having a great time.
But there's been something missing. Up till now, Ive needed to focus on resistence and escape. But that phase is closing. Ive been successful.... there's no use beating that horse forever.
Now that Ive destroyed the old wage slave life, I can move on to creating something. It is time to create an independent freelance income. It is time to become truly self-reliant. It is time to completely break free from bosses in all their forms.
When I first broke from all semblance of living a "mainstream" life, I was terrified. I admit it. Just prior to my first experience at car living.. I was nervous, afraid, stressed, worried. A million bogie-men filled my thoughts. I imagined failure and humiliation. I imagined misery. I knew I would become undatable and doomed to loneliness. I admire people who face such challenges with bravado and audacity. But Im not one of them. My bravado comes after the fact!
And so, as I face this next big challenge, I am again terrified. I again imagine horrible failure and humiliation. I doubt my ability to earn a freelance income. I worry that I will be hungry. I worry that Ill be forced into fulltime wage slavery and have to eat all my words here on Hobopoet. I can already hear the critics and devil's advocates saying, "I told you so".
Luckily, Ive been here before. At the beginning of an enterprise, I lack bravado and I lack courage. I lack confidence.
But I do have one ally that has continuously seen me through--
Stubborn persistence.
Lacking brains, guts, and talent... I know I can always depend on persistence to push me through the doubts.
Saturday, November 05, 2005
No Shore
by Skald
Listen to: The Audio
But we won't. There is no arrival point. As soon as you "get there" you are already moving on. Every experienced traveler knows this... there's no stopping point. If the mystics, psychedelic freaks, out-there physicists, and other crazies are right... death is not even an arrival point.
In the name of security, they squander their vitality. They close their eyes to their own glorious visions... and they abandon their deepest desires and dreams. They live half-lives.
They imagine that they are secure because they have job-security, a good retirement plan, a paid off mortgage.
Of course they are delusional. They are one accident away from crisis. One layoff. One health crisis. One uncontrollable change.
They will not escape these things. In trying to, they only escape their lives, their dreams,... the mystery and euphoria of chaos, change, growth, challenge, engagement.
Rollins is right, there is no shore.
But there IS a magnificent, glorious, beautiful, terrifying, never-ending dance.........
Join it.
Listen to: The Audio
No shore, no arrival. They spend there lives working, to buy things,No arrival. Isnt Rollins right. Isnt that much of our problem.. we keep imagining that we will "arrive". We will arrive at success. We will arrive at "the answer". We will arrive at love... or greatness.. or happiness... or contentment.
to fill in the space.
But we won't. There is no arrival point. As soon as you "get there" you are already moving on. Every experienced traveler knows this... there's no stopping point. If the mystics, psychedelic freaks, out-there physicists, and other crazies are right... death is not even an arrival point.
"Going from, towards"Thats how Thoreau described life. Always and ever moving on. Always and ever traveling. Much of the misery we see around us is caused by resistence to this truth. So many people desperately trying to arrive. So many trying to cling to surety and "security".
In the name of security, they squander their vitality. They close their eyes to their own glorious visions... and they abandon their deepest desires and dreams. They live half-lives.
They imagine that they are secure because they have job-security, a good retirement plan, a paid off mortgage.
Of course they are delusional. They are one accident away from crisis. One layoff. One health crisis. One uncontrollable change.
They will not escape these things. In trying to, they only escape their lives, their dreams,... the mystery and euphoria of chaos, change, growth, challenge, engagement.
Rollins is right, there is no shore.
But there IS a magnificent, glorious, beautiful, terrifying, never-ending dance.........
Join it.
Thursday, November 03, 2005
The Freelance Chronicles
by Skald
Im going for it. I am finally going to build a 100% freelance income. No more wage slavery and no more bosses. Enough bitching about the problem, time to work on the solution.
Over the next few months/years I will chronicle my efforts. The failures. The inevitable difficulties and frustrations. The tactics. The strategies.
I hope to be as specific as possible about my efforts to build an independent income and live an independent life. Thus far, Ive focused on the simplicity side of the equation.. reducing needs.
But Ive taken that as far as I wish to go... Ive found my "enough" level. Its a level that still demands some income. So my efforts now will be on getting that income as a freelancer.
The rough plan:
Freelance Teaching: Long term.. I hope to build a sustainable living income from teaching English to foreigners and immigrants. To maintain and promote my nomadic lifestyle, I plan to build much of this through distance learning.... using the internet, Skype conferences, and other tools to serve students all over the world.
My aim is to build a group of international students... and connect with them from anywhere in the world via high-speed internet. Thus, if I want to move to South America... I just go, get a high speed hookup, and continue as normal.
This will take time to build. Ill chronicle my efforts here. In addition to distance students, I will recruit independent students in whatever city I happen to be living in.
Freelance Teaching Strategy: For Hobopoets, traditional "business" strategies dont make sense. We dont have the cash for mega investment. No one wants to loan us money. We can't afford advertising.
We must be bootstrappers with a capital "B". We must start with absolutely nothing (sometimes this means starting without even a home).
So forget retail shops. Forget restaurants or traditional schools or anything that requires a building with a lease and rent. Forget anything that requires lots of upfront money (and for us, "lots" aint much).
Forget anything with large startup costs. Forget anything that depends on selling large volumes of "stuff".
The Hobopoet way is not BIG... its small. Micro. TINY.
I will focus my teaching efforts on a tiny micro niche (net-savvy subversives and misfits who want to learn English.. people who hate traditional education) These are the folks that traditional schools label "strange", "loners", "difficult", "contrary", "troublemakers", "don't fit in".
I will focus solely on customized courses for these people. That is, I will create a course for each individual student or semi-private group (4 students max). I will not have classrooms... I will teach via the net... or in cafes.. or in homes (ideally over a cup of coffe or a beer).
I have no need to compete with mega schools or programs... By offering hyper-customized courses... by being human, personal, and real... by using methods completely at odds with traditional education... by seeking the students they fear... and by having low financial needs... I eliminate the ability of these schools to compete with me. Indeed, they have no need or desire to do so.
I aim to serve what my friend Shiori calls "Blue Ogres"... the weird, the independent, the deviants, the creative, the odd, the sensitive (ie. people like me).
I aim only to provide remarkable courses to remarkable people.
Ill leave mediocre students to the mediocre schools.
Thats the freelance teaching strategy in a nutshell.
The first trick, of course, is finding these students. The second trick is attracting a few to give me a try. The third is to kick ass and win them over.
Meanwhile, I have to eat. So in addition to this noble sounding plan... I will be bartering, finding odd jobs, taking Part time work, donating sperm :), writing freelance articles... and scrounging income any way I can.
To be continued......
Im going for it. I am finally going to build a 100% freelance income. No more wage slavery and no more bosses. Enough bitching about the problem, time to work on the solution.
Over the next few months/years I will chronicle my efforts. The failures. The inevitable difficulties and frustrations. The tactics. The strategies.
I hope to be as specific as possible about my efforts to build an independent income and live an independent life. Thus far, Ive focused on the simplicity side of the equation.. reducing needs.
But Ive taken that as far as I wish to go... Ive found my "enough" level. Its a level that still demands some income. So my efforts now will be on getting that income as a freelancer.
The rough plan:
Freelance Teaching: Long term.. I hope to build a sustainable living income from teaching English to foreigners and immigrants. To maintain and promote my nomadic lifestyle, I plan to build much of this through distance learning.... using the internet, Skype conferences, and other tools to serve students all over the world.
My aim is to build a group of international students... and connect with them from anywhere in the world via high-speed internet. Thus, if I want to move to South America... I just go, get a high speed hookup, and continue as normal.
This will take time to build. Ill chronicle my efforts here. In addition to distance students, I will recruit independent students in whatever city I happen to be living in.
Freelance Teaching Strategy: For Hobopoets, traditional "business" strategies dont make sense. We dont have the cash for mega investment. No one wants to loan us money. We can't afford advertising.
We must be bootstrappers with a capital "B". We must start with absolutely nothing (sometimes this means starting without even a home).
So forget retail shops. Forget restaurants or traditional schools or anything that requires a building with a lease and rent. Forget anything that requires lots of upfront money (and for us, "lots" aint much).
Forget anything with large startup costs. Forget anything that depends on selling large volumes of "stuff".
The Hobopoet way is not BIG... its small. Micro. TINY.
I will focus my teaching efforts on a tiny micro niche (net-savvy subversives and misfits who want to learn English.. people who hate traditional education) These are the folks that traditional schools label "strange", "loners", "difficult", "contrary", "troublemakers", "don't fit in".
I will focus solely on customized courses for these people. That is, I will create a course for each individual student or semi-private group (4 students max). I will not have classrooms... I will teach via the net... or in cafes.. or in homes (ideally over a cup of coffe or a beer).
I have no need to compete with mega schools or programs... By offering hyper-customized courses... by being human, personal, and real... by using methods completely at odds with traditional education... by seeking the students they fear... and by having low financial needs... I eliminate the ability of these schools to compete with me. Indeed, they have no need or desire to do so.
I aim to serve what my friend Shiori calls "Blue Ogres"... the weird, the independent, the deviants, the creative, the odd, the sensitive (ie. people like me).
I aim only to provide remarkable courses to remarkable people.
Ill leave mediocre students to the mediocre schools.
Thats the freelance teaching strategy in a nutshell.
The first trick, of course, is finding these students. The second trick is attracting a few to give me a try. The third is to kick ass and win them over.
Meanwhile, I have to eat. So in addition to this noble sounding plan... I will be bartering, finding odd jobs, taking Part time work, donating sperm :), writing freelance articles... and scrounging income any way I can.
To be continued......
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
Masturbation and the Joys of Freelancing
by Skald
[Yes, read with tongue in cheek ;) ]
I find myself, finally, a fulltime freelancing Hobopoet. Seems my toleration for traditional employment (wage slavery) has nearly bottomed out. Just can't do that shit anymore. Bowing and scraping. Ducking from the boss. Filling out forms.
Kerouac summed it up best: "The problem with work is that you are always doing someone else's".
Amen St. Jack!
Not that this situation doesn't contain a large dose of humor. I can't help but laugh when I think of the speed with which I've shifted from disreputable van living Hobopoet, to "respectable" university instructor, to dangerous thought criminal, to, once again, disreputable Hobopoet & freelancer. What a ride!
And the fun continues. Im now locked on starting my own English teaching program... to become, finally, a freelancer and only a freelancer.
Building that will take time,... but I find Im in no mood to chase yet another rat-race job. Instead, Ill do this startup the Hobopoet way... by living in my vehicle and making supplementary income until the English program takes off.
My supplementary income will come from two primary sources. One- I will write freelance. This'll provide a few paltry dollars, but not much.
Which is why Ive decided on part time "job" number two: professional masturbator. Yep, seems you can make a reasonable income from masturbating. I've found a few clinics that are offering $65 a pop for sperm donations... and they want twice a week donations with a one year commitment. I normally dont like contracts, but I think this is a responsibility I can handle. After all, Ive maintained that rate of activity for free for years and years.
This week, Ive been doing research on sperm count... how to increase it. If Im going to be a professional, Ive got to do this right. Ill be laying off the caffeine, exercising regularly, and supplementing my diet with zinc, vitamins, and certain amino acids. I hope to "work" for at least two clinics... thus generating $260 dollars a week. To do that, Ive got to stay in good shape!
The great thing is, I can easily live off that amount of money by become a car dweller once again. I've got a friend who is willing to let me park at his place and use his shower (the two biggest hassles of my last experience). I've got a laptop.... with access to free wifi. Ill get a cell phone as soon as I arrive in town. All the essentials, in other words.
Maybe I should get a business card made... just in case I come across other clinicians that need my services.
Skald Hareksson
Professional Masturbator
[Yes, read with tongue in cheek ;) ]
I find myself, finally, a fulltime freelancing Hobopoet. Seems my toleration for traditional employment (wage slavery) has nearly bottomed out. Just can't do that shit anymore. Bowing and scraping. Ducking from the boss. Filling out forms.
Kerouac summed it up best: "The problem with work is that you are always doing someone else's".
Amen St. Jack!
Not that this situation doesn't contain a large dose of humor. I can't help but laugh when I think of the speed with which I've shifted from disreputable van living Hobopoet, to "respectable" university instructor, to dangerous thought criminal, to, once again, disreputable Hobopoet & freelancer. What a ride!
And the fun continues. Im now locked on starting my own English teaching program... to become, finally, a freelancer and only a freelancer.
Building that will take time,... but I find Im in no mood to chase yet another rat-race job. Instead, Ill do this startup the Hobopoet way... by living in my vehicle and making supplementary income until the English program takes off.
My supplementary income will come from two primary sources. One- I will write freelance. This'll provide a few paltry dollars, but not much.
Which is why Ive decided on part time "job" number two: professional masturbator. Yep, seems you can make a reasonable income from masturbating. I've found a few clinics that are offering $65 a pop for sperm donations... and they want twice a week donations with a one year commitment. I normally dont like contracts, but I think this is a responsibility I can handle. After all, Ive maintained that rate of activity for free for years and years.
This week, Ive been doing research on sperm count... how to increase it. If Im going to be a professional, Ive got to do this right. Ill be laying off the caffeine, exercising regularly, and supplementing my diet with zinc, vitamins, and certain amino acids. I hope to "work" for at least two clinics... thus generating $260 dollars a week. To do that, Ive got to stay in good shape!
The great thing is, I can easily live off that amount of money by become a car dweller once again. I've got a friend who is willing to let me park at his place and use his shower (the two biggest hassles of my last experience). I've got a laptop.... with access to free wifi. Ill get a cell phone as soon as I arrive in town. All the essentials, in other words.
Maybe I should get a business card made... just in case I come across other clinicians that need my services.
Skald Hareksson
Professional Masturbator
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
The Over & Under Worlds
by Skald
Tim Leary, in typical pithy fashion, wrote that there are always two societies in any country or culture: the "cop outs" and the "drop outs". He also called these two the overworld and the underworld.
The cop outs are the established "game system". They make rules and are always in search of order, control, and stability. The cop outs dont like change. Most upstanding good citizens fall into this category. This group, according to Leary, has always existed in human society and probably always will.
The drop outs are the deviants, the rebels, the malcontents, the "fast mutators", the mystics, the innovators. Drop outs subvert, change, and or break the rules. They search for freedom, chaos, growth, and evolution. They are constantly trying to push the bigger system to another level. According to Leary, this group has likewise existed throughout human history, and probably always will.
Clearly, Leary was a drop out. But what I love is his recognition that both groups are necessary for the wider ecological human system. Im a drop out too... but I can appreciate that a bit of stability is necessary. Most humans simply cannot handle non-stop change. They need a breather. They need some islands in the storm. Even drop outs need this, though considerably less than the cop outs.
On the other hand, the conformist society absolutely needs the drop outs too. Drop outs drive the evolution of the species. The fast mutators keep all of us fit and adaptable. Drop outs push us onward, destroy disfunctioning systems, and make life a lot more fun.
Its good to accept this dynamic. Its easy for deviants to get snared by uncontrolled anger. They rail against the system... and descend into bitterness when change does not happen fast enough (or at all). Ive known a few people like this and they are a sad sight.
I think Leary presents a much healthier model for drop outs. To his death (indeed, including the process of his dying), Leary continued to challenge the system. He was bold, audacious, and irreverant. But he always maintained a sense of humor. When he said, "screw you" to the system,... he always did so with a wink and a grin. Leary radiated happiness, compassion, and humor (The guy even developed a quasi friendship with G. Gordan Liddy for goddsake)!!
As I move on from my own brush with the "cop outs"... I try to remember Leary and hope I can maintain his same sense of optimism and compassion.
Tim Leary, in typical pithy fashion, wrote that there are always two societies in any country or culture: the "cop outs" and the "drop outs". He also called these two the overworld and the underworld.
The cop outs are the established "game system". They make rules and are always in search of order, control, and stability. The cop outs dont like change. Most upstanding good citizens fall into this category. This group, according to Leary, has always existed in human society and probably always will.
The drop outs are the deviants, the rebels, the malcontents, the "fast mutators", the mystics, the innovators. Drop outs subvert, change, and or break the rules. They search for freedom, chaos, growth, and evolution. They are constantly trying to push the bigger system to another level. According to Leary, this group has likewise existed throughout human history, and probably always will.
Clearly, Leary was a drop out. But what I love is his recognition that both groups are necessary for the wider ecological human system. Im a drop out too... but I can appreciate that a bit of stability is necessary. Most humans simply cannot handle non-stop change. They need a breather. They need some islands in the storm. Even drop outs need this, though considerably less than the cop outs.
On the other hand, the conformist society absolutely needs the drop outs too. Drop outs drive the evolution of the species. The fast mutators keep all of us fit and adaptable. Drop outs push us onward, destroy disfunctioning systems, and make life a lot more fun.
Its good to accept this dynamic. Its easy for deviants to get snared by uncontrolled anger. They rail against the system... and descend into bitterness when change does not happen fast enough (or at all). Ive known a few people like this and they are a sad sight.
I think Leary presents a much healthier model for drop outs. To his death (indeed, including the process of his dying), Leary continued to challenge the system. He was bold, audacious, and irreverant. But he always maintained a sense of humor. When he said, "screw you" to the system,... he always did so with a wink and a grin. Leary radiated happiness, compassion, and humor (The guy even developed a quasi friendship with G. Gordan Liddy for goddsake)!!
As I move on from my own brush with the "cop outs"... I try to remember Leary and hope I can maintain his same sense of optimism and compassion.
Thanks for the Publicity!
by Skald
Thammasat University's BAS program has gone Orwellian on me. My students are emailing me in droves. They tell me the departments administration has forbidden them to read my teaching blog, or email me, or have any contact with me whatsoever. Apparently, they were also told that my blog(s) would be "removed" (presumably access would be blocked on Thammasat U. computers).
In addition, they are now monitoring my students' blogs.
Wow! What started as just another brush with bureaucracy has become some kind of weird censorship campaign... the thought police are on the move!
While I obviously dont condone their actions, I cant help but be bemused. Because the more they do these kind of things, the more they draw attention to the blog, and the more people (including students) are coming to read it.
And these people are writing me (the dept. will have a tough time preventing that, I imagine). My inbox is filling rapidly... emails coming in faster than I can read them.
So here we have it... the classic authoritative, command and control response: attempt to silence those you do not like. If that cannot be done, attempt to intimidate the less bold.
And here, also, we have a lesson in the way the game has changed...
"Command and control", meet the world wide web!
Thammasat University's BAS program has gone Orwellian on me. My students are emailing me in droves. They tell me the departments administration has forbidden them to read my teaching blog, or email me, or have any contact with me whatsoever. Apparently, they were also told that my blog(s) would be "removed" (presumably access would be blocked on Thammasat U. computers).
In addition, they are now monitoring my students' blogs.
Wow! What started as just another brush with bureaucracy has become some kind of weird censorship campaign... the thought police are on the move!
While I obviously dont condone their actions, I cant help but be bemused. Because the more they do these kind of things, the more they draw attention to the blog, and the more people (including students) are coming to read it.
And these people are writing me (the dept. will have a tough time preventing that, I imagine). My inbox is filling rapidly... emails coming in faster than I can read them.
So here we have it... the classic authoritative, command and control response: attempt to silence those you do not like. If that cannot be done, attempt to intimidate the less bold.
And here, also, we have a lesson in the way the game has changed...
"Command and control", meet the world wide web!
Sunday, October 16, 2005
Chaos
by Skald
I have the same addiction. After a short "what have I done?" moment... I find that the chaos and uncertainty of my situation is incredibly motivating and inspiring.
Im free. Free! Free with all the euphoria and fear that state brings. Euphoric to be master of my own fate again. Scared shitless because now I actually have to DO something.. not just talk and complain.
This is as it should be. For far too long Ive cast myself in a resistence role... embedded in one lumbering bureaucratic system after another-- raging at the machine. Ive learned plenty from these experiences but its easy to take shots at these organizations. And in the end, it accomplishes little.
While opposition, subversion, destruction, and unlearning may be the first steps- eventually youve got to create something.
Professional critics, after all, are loathesome creatures. They are usually people who are too timid to write their own book, make their own movie, or create their own program (ouch, guilty as charged!).
For a while, Ive been one of them. I copped out... settled into the critics role of "I know better than them". That may be true, but who cares?
The question that matters is, "Can I DO better than them?"
And that remains to be seen.
I have this addiction to chaos. I love it when Im a bit anxious. Its a sickness, okay. But it works for me. And the older I get, the more I need what upsets me, shocks me, makes me squirm, or get angry. The older I get, the more I value what forces me to take a second look. The more I respect people who dont automatically respect me.-- Dan Wieden
Chaos does this amazing thing that order can't: it engages you. It gets right in your face and with freakish breath issues a challenge. It asks stuff of you, order never will. And it shows you stuff, all the weird shit, that order tries to hide. Chaos is the only thing that honestly wants you to grow. The only friend who really helps you be creative. Demands that you be creative.
I have the same addiction. After a short "what have I done?" moment... I find that the chaos and uncertainty of my situation is incredibly motivating and inspiring.
Im free. Free! Free with all the euphoria and fear that state brings. Euphoric to be master of my own fate again. Scared shitless because now I actually have to DO something.. not just talk and complain.
This is as it should be. For far too long Ive cast myself in a resistence role... embedded in one lumbering bureaucratic system after another-- raging at the machine. Ive learned plenty from these experiences but its easy to take shots at these organizations. And in the end, it accomplishes little.
While opposition, subversion, destruction, and unlearning may be the first steps- eventually youve got to create something.
Professional critics, after all, are loathesome creatures. They are usually people who are too timid to write their own book, make their own movie, or create their own program (ouch, guilty as charged!).
For a while, Ive been one of them. I copped out... settled into the critics role of "I know better than them". That may be true, but who cares?
The question that matters is, "Can I DO better than them?"
And that remains to be seen.
A Hobopoet Again!
by Skald
Well, Im back on the trail again. Ive been fired/quit from Thammasat-- seems I had considerably less autonomy than I first thought (is anyone surprised by this)! While there were a few issues, the kicker was that the "TU authorities" found my teaching blog... and then presumably found their way to Hobopoet via my profile.
Well, I cant say Im too surprised. Nor can I claim to be upset. Ive known for a long time that a conservative bureaucracy was no place for me... and while the illusion of semi-autonomy was nice for a while.... reality was bound to intrude.
And so......
No job.
No money.
No problem!
Its time to put my money (ie. making an income) where my mouth is... finally. Time to take that scary leap into freelancing... build my own means of making income.... without bosses. I claim to know better than the bureaucrats-- well, at long last its time to put that assertion to the test.
Ive also been fond of telling my students "Do something great!!" (telling, instead of doing... in classic teacher form). Well, its now time to see if I can follow that advice.
In the short term there will be lean days ahead..... ramen noodles, PT jobs for food income... perhaps another stint of van living.
But its preferable to wage slavery and compromising my life.
As Ive warned many times.. once you taste freedom and autonomy- there's no going back.
Well, Im back on the trail again. Ive been fired/quit from Thammasat-- seems I had considerably less autonomy than I first thought (is anyone surprised by this)! While there were a few issues, the kicker was that the "TU authorities" found my teaching blog... and then presumably found their way to Hobopoet via my profile.
Well, I cant say Im too surprised. Nor can I claim to be upset. Ive known for a long time that a conservative bureaucracy was no place for me... and while the illusion of semi-autonomy was nice for a while.... reality was bound to intrude.
And so......
No job.
No money.
No problem!
Its time to put my money (ie. making an income) where my mouth is... finally. Time to take that scary leap into freelancing... build my own means of making income.... without bosses. I claim to know better than the bureaucrats-- well, at long last its time to put that assertion to the test.
Ive also been fond of telling my students "Do something great!!" (telling, instead of doing... in classic teacher form). Well, its now time to see if I can follow that advice.
In the short term there will be lean days ahead..... ramen noodles, PT jobs for food income... perhaps another stint of van living.
But its preferable to wage slavery and compromising my life.
As Ive warned many times.. once you taste freedom and autonomy- there's no going back.
Saturday, October 08, 2005
Too Wired!
by Skald
Im wired.... have been in an unstoppable manic phase for quite a while... with most of the energy channeled into teaching & my teaching blog. With my mind and body buzzing on these topics, Ive found it difficult to write much about travel & other Hobopoet themes (thus the scarce posts).
Ive also been far too wired to machines. I need a break from ringing cell phones and email and blogging and websites. These are great tools, but all things in moderation.
I finally have a break so I have decided to take to the road (or sky) for a few weeks. Head out, by myself, unplugged. Cell phone off. No computers or internet.
Ill be back in a couple of weeks, and will hopefully be inspired to write more for Hobopoet at that time.
Until then........
Im wired.... have been in an unstoppable manic phase for quite a while... with most of the energy channeled into teaching & my teaching blog. With my mind and body buzzing on these topics, Ive found it difficult to write much about travel & other Hobopoet themes (thus the scarce posts).
Ive also been far too wired to machines. I need a break from ringing cell phones and email and blogging and websites. These are great tools, but all things in moderation.
I finally have a break so I have decided to take to the road (or sky) for a few weeks. Head out, by myself, unplugged. Cell phone off. No computers or internet.
Ill be back in a couple of weeks, and will hopefully be inspired to write more for Hobopoet at that time.
Until then........
Wednesday, October 05, 2005
Audio!
by Skald
I found a very cool web service called Talkr
Talker automatically converts all of your blog posts to audio.... and will add an audiolink at the bottom of all written posts. Very very cool!
Especially for the teaching blog. I now have a way of providing students, simultaneously, with reading and listening material. And I don't have to do any extra work. As my students are "English as a Foreign Language" learners, this is a very useful and supercool service.
Those of you wanting a lazy way to enter the world of podcasting... check out Talkr.
If you'd like a taste of what it does, see the teaching blog at:
http://effortlessacquisition.blogspot.com
......
I found a very cool web service called Talkr
Talker automatically converts all of your blog posts to audio.... and will add an audiolink at the bottom of all written posts. Very very cool!
Especially for the teaching blog. I now have a way of providing students, simultaneously, with reading and listening material. And I don't have to do any extra work. As my students are "English as a Foreign Language" learners, this is a very useful and supercool service.
Those of you wanting a lazy way to enter the world of podcasting... check out Talkr.
If you'd like a taste of what it does, see the teaching blog at:
http://effortlessacquisition.blogspot.com
......
Sunday, October 02, 2005
Employment
by Anon
Skald,
I have to agree with what you wrote on your blog. The motivation in dependant employment is much worse than if you are doing something for yourself. Back when I was 16, I wrote a full-blown application to facilitate exploiting certain loopholes in telephone switching systems at the time. (Basically, it was a hacking app you could use to make free phone calls.) Complete with documentation, custom user interface, sound i/o, phone book, snazzy design.. a major major project, tens of thousands of lines of code. I cranked out most of it in a space of weeks, working from 9pm until 6am and sleeping until whenever I would wake up, collaborating with other peeps as needed.
Now, after a few years working in "professional" IT, I can tell you something like this would have taken a bunch of guys who are *employed* to create it at least a year. Five of them too. Why? Because they just do their job, their heart's not in it. They will no enough to not look too lazy to collect their paycheck.
It holds true for a lot of areas, not only teaching english.
Skald,
I have to agree with what you wrote on your blog. The motivation in dependant employment is much worse than if you are doing something for yourself. Back when I was 16, I wrote a full-blown application to facilitate exploiting certain loopholes in telephone switching systems at the time. (Basically, it was a hacking app you could use to make free phone calls.) Complete with documentation, custom user interface, sound i/o, phone book, snazzy design.. a major major project, tens of thousands of lines of code. I cranked out most of it in a space of weeks, working from 9pm until 6am and sleeping until whenever I would wake up, collaborating with other peeps as needed.
Now, after a few years working in "professional" IT, I can tell you something like this would have taken a bunch of guys who are *employed* to create it at least a year. Five of them too. Why? Because they just do their job, their heart's not in it. They will no enough to not look too lazy to collect their paycheck.
It holds true for a lot of areas, not only teaching english.
An Angle I Forgot
by Anonymous
Hey Skald,
Thinking about it now, that Friday night [see previous post] had a whole angle to it which I didn't mention in my past e-mail but I think you might be interested in.. It was my encounter with a coked-up Scottish DJ.
So, having just re-loaded on K I'm looking for a nice comfy chair to sink into and ride my trip. I find one, next to a sofa, close my eyes and just ride the waves of my psychedelic experience. Ketamine, if taken in the correct dose, gives you a nice birds-eye view of your life and your current situation, a bit like Google Earth for the mind. So I sit there contemplating, eyes closed at times, enjoying myself.
Eventually, I open my eyes again and there is the Scottish DJ on the sofa next to me with his Hoez(tm). He's coked up as hell and proceeds to chew my fucking ear off, along the lines of: "Yeah, I'm so great, I make so much money, I just spend mad dough on coke and champagne, I'm so intense, blah blah blah."
I smile at him politely and think: What a wanker you are. Get the fuck over yourself. In the great scheme of things, you don't amount to shit if you are always looking for people to placate your fragile ego. For a second I consider enlightening him about the concept of voluntary simplicity, about being happy with less instead of ever chasing for more, about dissolving your fucking Ego instead of taking a drug that blows it up to gargantuan proportions.. But I decided not to waste my time, leaned back in my chair smiling, closed my eyes and enjoyed my visuals..
It takes all strokes to move the world..
Hey Skald,
Thinking about it now, that Friday night [see previous post] had a whole angle to it which I didn't mention in my past e-mail but I think you might be interested in.. It was my encounter with a coked-up Scottish DJ.
So, having just re-loaded on K I'm looking for a nice comfy chair to sink into and ride my trip. I find one, next to a sofa, close my eyes and just ride the waves of my psychedelic experience. Ketamine, if taken in the correct dose, gives you a nice birds-eye view of your life and your current situation, a bit like Google Earth for the mind. So I sit there contemplating, eyes closed at times, enjoying myself.
Eventually, I open my eyes again and there is the Scottish DJ on the sofa next to me with his Hoez(tm). He's coked up as hell and proceeds to chew my fucking ear off, along the lines of: "Yeah, I'm so great, I make so much money, I just spend mad dough on coke and champagne, I'm so intense, blah blah blah."
I smile at him politely and think: What a wanker you are. Get the fuck over yourself. In the great scheme of things, you don't amount to shit if you are always looking for people to placate your fragile ego. For a second I consider enlightening him about the concept of voluntary simplicity, about being happy with less instead of ever chasing for more, about dissolving your fucking Ego instead of taking a drug that blows it up to gargantuan proportions.. But I decided not to waste my time, leaned back in my chair smiling, closed my eyes and enjoyed my visuals..
It takes all strokes to move the world..
Thursday, September 29, 2005
Ecstatic Experience
by Anonymous
Last night I was lucky enough to enjoy an ecstatic dance experience that is rare enough to enjoy. I went down to B-ton to attend a dance party thrown by the Psychedelic Dream Temple crew which I had been looking forward to for weeks. The place was divided into two areas -- the primary dance floor, which had two DJ's from Denmark-based Iboga Records on the bill, and a second, alternative floor which played mainly groovy ambient.
This is were it all came together for me. After refusing ecstasy that was being offered to me earlier in the night and watching in awe as the bouncers ejected some guys queueing for the bathroom for holding a rolled up £10 note in their hand, my hopes of getting my hands on something that would just facilitate enough of a psychedelic state to throw myself in the music was on the wane. In the end I plomped down on a sofa right next to a lovely couple who were bugging out on some Ketamine --a disassociative hallucinogen reasonably mild yet powerful drug if taken in measured doses with a very short halflife. [Mega doses have an ego-destroying, out of body, super-psychedelic effect... also worth a try. --AJ] Out of kindness they agreed to let me borrow their packet and I loaded up on a dose.
Over the next hour I had an amazing conversation with the two of them while riding the very rim of what's possible without going into a fully immersive k-hole. We reflected on the nature of London and how it is such an amazing nexus -- a super collider for people, of all sorts, of all origins.. and how the city in itself has psychedelic properties. Sound weird to you? Well, "psychedelic" means "mind-manifesting". London has a way bringing to light whatever is on your conscious or subconscious mind and presenting you with whatever experiences you need to be having based on what's going on inside you. If you come here to party, you can party. If you come here to work, you will find a job. If you don't know what you came for, things will happen to you will reveal the reasons why you came, and the nature of your personality if you take the time to reflect on your experiences.. it is unparalleded in this regard.
Following this logic, I suppose I had a definite need to rinse and flush out my system and get out there and I was about to get what I was looking for.. With the K waning but still very present in my system, I passed the ambient floor and got completely sucked into the music. It wasn't a conscious act of dancing, about contemplating how you will move which part of your body, at all. It was more like surrendering and letting the music take over. All in all this is by far my favourite kind of dancing.
I rode the grooves like a surfer rides the waves, for a good while, breaking a good sweat before the lights came on and the party wound down at 6am. Big smiles all around as all the like minded people who live for moments like this congregated to the music of the DJ. When it was all over introductions were made, backs slapped and good energies exchanged between the dancers before everybody bundles their sweaty limbs back into their warm jumpers and went back out into the London cold for a gorgeous early morning ride home on the 133 bus.
As I sat on the top deck of the big red bus contemplating, the music and experiences of the night still ringing in my ears, I felt glad to be a part of this. The tradition of the underground speakeasy, where you can drink and dance and partake in mind-altering substances without fear of any major reprecussions. (Besides, of course, being booted out of the club if you are too overtly partaking.) The bus crossed the bridge over the Thames and I was rewarded with a great view of Tower Bridge at sunrise, the orange clouds reflecting in the perfectly still waters of the river. Time to go back to my hostel and tuck into bed, with my faith in humankind refreshed again, just enough to answer the question of why we are putting outselves through this..
Last night I was lucky enough to enjoy an ecstatic dance experience that is rare enough to enjoy. I went down to B-ton to attend a dance party thrown by the Psychedelic Dream Temple crew which I had been looking forward to for weeks. The place was divided into two areas -- the primary dance floor, which had two DJ's from Denmark-based Iboga Records on the bill, and a second, alternative floor which played mainly groovy ambient.
This is were it all came together for me. After refusing ecstasy that was being offered to me earlier in the night and watching in awe as the bouncers ejected some guys queueing for the bathroom for holding a rolled up £10 note in their hand, my hopes of getting my hands on something that would just facilitate enough of a psychedelic state to throw myself in the music was on the wane. In the end I plomped down on a sofa right next to a lovely couple who were bugging out on some Ketamine --a disassociative hallucinogen reasonably mild yet powerful drug if taken in measured doses with a very short halflife. [Mega doses have an ego-destroying, out of body, super-psychedelic effect... also worth a try. --AJ] Out of kindness they agreed to let me borrow their packet and I loaded up on a dose.
Over the next hour I had an amazing conversation with the two of them while riding the very rim of what's possible without going into a fully immersive k-hole. We reflected on the nature of London and how it is such an amazing nexus -- a super collider for people, of all sorts, of all origins.. and how the city in itself has psychedelic properties. Sound weird to you? Well, "psychedelic" means "mind-manifesting". London has a way bringing to light whatever is on your conscious or subconscious mind and presenting you with whatever experiences you need to be having based on what's going on inside you. If you come here to party, you can party. If you come here to work, you will find a job. If you don't know what you came for, things will happen to you will reveal the reasons why you came, and the nature of your personality if you take the time to reflect on your experiences.. it is unparalleded in this regard.
Following this logic, I suppose I had a definite need to rinse and flush out my system and get out there and I was about to get what I was looking for.. With the K waning but still very present in my system, I passed the ambient floor and got completely sucked into the music. It wasn't a conscious act of dancing, about contemplating how you will move which part of your body, at all. It was more like surrendering and letting the music take over. All in all this is by far my favourite kind of dancing.
I rode the grooves like a surfer rides the waves, for a good while, breaking a good sweat before the lights came on and the party wound down at 6am. Big smiles all around as all the like minded people who live for moments like this congregated to the music of the DJ. When it was all over introductions were made, backs slapped and good energies exchanged between the dancers before everybody bundles their sweaty limbs back into their warm jumpers and went back out into the London cold for a gorgeous early morning ride home on the 133 bus.
As I sat on the top deck of the big red bus contemplating, the music and experiences of the night still ringing in my ears, I felt glad to be a part of this. The tradition of the underground speakeasy, where you can drink and dance and partake in mind-altering substances without fear of any major reprecussions. (Besides, of course, being booted out of the club if you are too overtly partaking.) The bus crossed the bridge over the Thames and I was rewarded with a great view of Tower Bridge at sunrise, the orange clouds reflecting in the perfectly still waters of the river. Time to go back to my hostel and tuck into bed, with my faith in humankind refreshed again, just enough to answer the question of why we are putting outselves through this..
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
The End of Employment
by Skald
A great quote from a great essay by Paul Graham:
My thoughts exactly. Ive been a peon wage slave many many times. Ive also been a "manager" and a "director". They both suck (though being a peon sucks more for sure).
And the reason is dead obvious to any but the most brainwashed Republican corporate drone: "Our employer-employee relationship still retains a big chunk of master-servant DNA".
A fucking HUGE chunk, in fact. The boss-employee relationship is one of part-time slavery and nothing more. The interesting thing is that while "workers" have instinctively known this forever... some forward thinking business types are finally realizing it too.
They are finally cluing in that resentful slaves are not very "productive". And slave organizations are incredibly wasteful.
The bulk of Graham's essay is a discussion of blogging and open source. He correctly points out that amateur bloggers, working passionately, for their own joy, for free, are kicking the shit out of large "professional" publications.
He's dead on. Ill use my own field, teaching English, as an example. The "professional" publications in my field are dry, boring and utterly useless. They look slick. But they are lifeless. Ive never read one and gotten a good idea.. much less an earth-shattering one.
But Ive now collected a set of amazingly interesting blogs dedicated to my field. They are routinely filled with provocative and stimulating ideas. Ive revamped my entire approach after reading some of these blogs... and this has happened several times in the space of one semester.
Stylistically they are also superior. The writing is lively, clear, and concise. No longwinded academic bullshit.. and no use of the accursed passive voice.
And so we see that people who own their work, who are free and autonomous, who can indulge their enthusiasms however they choose... are also far more innovative and "productive".
This is no surprise to me... but its nice to see a few folks in the business world finally catching on.
A great quote from a great essay by Paul Graham:
I think the big obstacle preventing us from seeing the future of business is the assumption that people working for you have to be employees. But think about what's going on underneath: the company has some money, and they pay it to the employee in the hope that he'll make something worth more than they paid him. Well, there are other ways to arrange that relationship. Instead of paying the guy money as a salary, why not give it to him as investment? Then instead of coming to your office to work on your projects, he can work wherever he wants on projects of his own.
Because few of us know any alternative, we have no idea how much better we could do than the traditional employer-employee relationship. Such customs evolve with glacial slowness. Our employer-employee relationship still retains a big chunk of master-servant DNA.
I dislike being on either end of it. I'll work my ass off for a customer, but I resent being told what to do by a boss. And being a boss is also horribly frustrating; half the time it's easier just to do stuff yourself than to get someone else to do it for you. I'd rather do almost anything than give or receive a performance review.
My thoughts exactly. Ive been a peon wage slave many many times. Ive also been a "manager" and a "director". They both suck (though being a peon sucks more for sure).
And the reason is dead obvious to any but the most brainwashed Republican corporate drone: "Our employer-employee relationship still retains a big chunk of master-servant DNA".
A fucking HUGE chunk, in fact. The boss-employee relationship is one of part-time slavery and nothing more. The interesting thing is that while "workers" have instinctively known this forever... some forward thinking business types are finally realizing it too.
They are finally cluing in that resentful slaves are not very "productive". And slave organizations are incredibly wasteful.
The bulk of Graham's essay is a discussion of blogging and open source. He correctly points out that amateur bloggers, working passionately, for their own joy, for free, are kicking the shit out of large "professional" publications.
He's dead on. Ill use my own field, teaching English, as an example. The "professional" publications in my field are dry, boring and utterly useless. They look slick. But they are lifeless. Ive never read one and gotten a good idea.. much less an earth-shattering one.
But Ive now collected a set of amazingly interesting blogs dedicated to my field. They are routinely filled with provocative and stimulating ideas. Ive revamped my entire approach after reading some of these blogs... and this has happened several times in the space of one semester.
Stylistically they are also superior. The writing is lively, clear, and concise. No longwinded academic bullshit.. and no use of the accursed passive voice.
And so we see that people who own their work, who are free and autonomous, who can indulge their enthusiasms however they choose... are also far more innovative and "productive".
This is no surprise to me... but its nice to see a few folks in the business world finally catching on.
Friday, September 23, 2005
More From Rollins
by Skald
"There are so many hammocks to catch you if you fall, so many laws to keep you from experience. All these cities I have been in the last few weeks make me fully understand the cozy, stifling state in which most people pass through life. I don't want to pass through life like a smooth plane ride. All you do is get to breathe and copulate and finally die. I don't want to go with the smooth skin and the calm brow. I hope I end up a blithering idiot cursing the sun -
hallucinating, screaming, giving obscene and inane lectures on street corners and public parks.
People will walk by and say, "Look at that drooling idiot. What a basket case." I will turn and say to them "It is you who are the basket case. For every moment you hated your job, cursed your wife and sold yourself to a dream that you didn't even conceive. For the times your soul screamed yes and you said no. For
all of that. For your self-torture, I see the glowing eyes of the sun! The air talks to me! I am at all times!" And maybe, the passers by will drop a coin into my cup."
So many laws to keep you from experience....
Laws against using certain substances (ganga, LSD, ketemin, mushrooms, etc...). Laws against certain types of sexual experiences. Laws against certain kinds of thought. And these are just the written down government laws. The most stifling laws are unwritten: societal "norms" enforced through intimidation, brainwashing, and reproach.
Ours is a society that equates learning with memorizing words written by other people. Most people who claim to be experts have very little first hand knowledge of their field. How many psychiatrists have experienced ego-dissolution, "disassociation", "hallucinations", visions, and the like? How many white-bread "Middle East experts" have actually lived there, among the local people, for an extended period of time? How many religion experts (ministers, priests) have experienced the spiritual or divine ("the godhead") directly?
Most of what we call education is nothing but a game of trivia pursuit. Its a quoting match-- Professor A says, "I know what so-and-so said about this subject", and Professor B replies, "Well such-and-such said this!". Back and forth they go, arguing about what other experience-deprived "experts" have written about a phenomenon-- none of them with a clue about the actual experience.
Non-professors play the same game... sometimes quoting the professors.
I love books. I love reading. I love that I have access to the thoughts of great thinkers like Thoreau, or Guatama Buddha, or Aldous Huxley, etc.
But though I am an avid reader & a language teacher, I contend that books and language are overrated. Without direct experience, they are nothing. Only the experienced can interpret their messages.
Rather than subject 18 year olds to four more years of drudgery in University, we should give them that money and tell them to travel the world: "Here is your $25,000 student grant/loan... if you don't return to this country for at least 2 years, you don't have to pay it back."
That would be a worthy use of education dollars.
Thursday, September 22, 2005
Move Your Ass- Thoughts From Henry Rollins
by AJ
Stefan recently sent me an email full of Henry Rollins quotes. All are brilliant, so Ill be posting them one by one. The one above is perhaps the simplest and most direct. Really cuts to the chase, doesnt it.
Leave and go somewhere else... or don't. For all of us stuck in crappy jobs (Ive been there MANY times), or crummy redneck towns (been there), or hopeless relationships (yep), or mental ruts-- the solution really is quite simple. Not necessarily EASY, but certainly simple.
Just leave. There are no good excuses, for the excuses are nothing but your own fears and doubts. I wrangled with excuses for YEARS. I fretted about what other people would think (all the while claiming I didnt care). I fretted about money. I cursed my fate.
And then, one day, I just decided. I bought a ticket to India.
Once I tasted freedom, I could never again be satisfied with a half life.
It really does come down to one moment-- one unequivocal decision.
"Life is full of choices, if you have the guts to go for it. That's why I get immediately bored with anyone's complaining about how boring their life is, or how bad their town is. Fucking leave and go somewhere else. Or don't."
Stefan recently sent me an email full of Henry Rollins quotes. All are brilliant, so Ill be posting them one by one. The one above is perhaps the simplest and most direct. Really cuts to the chase, doesnt it.
Leave and go somewhere else... or don't. For all of us stuck in crappy jobs (Ive been there MANY times), or crummy redneck towns (been there), or hopeless relationships (yep), or mental ruts-- the solution really is quite simple. Not necessarily EASY, but certainly simple.
Just leave. There are no good excuses, for the excuses are nothing but your own fears and doubts. I wrangled with excuses for YEARS. I fretted about what other people would think (all the while claiming I didnt care). I fretted about money. I cursed my fate.
And then, one day, I just decided. I bought a ticket to India.
Once I tasted freedom, I could never again be satisfied with a half life.
It really does come down to one moment-- one unequivocal decision.
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
Don't Ruin Yourself
by Skald
--Hermann Hesse
Id say thats right on the money. A true diagnosis of the problem. Most people ruin themselves by constantly worrying about what is permitted. They worry what their teachers will think. They worry what their parents and family will think. They worry what their boss will think... and what their friends will think. Some worry what their minister, priest, or "god" will think.
Through this process they destroy their dreams... and lose their bliss. They become dry husks. They descend into monotony. Some acquire a measure of comfort from the security of monotony. But the more sensitive (ie. most reading this blog) tend to be tortured by what they have given up.
Always it gnaws at them-- that sense of living the wrong life.
Ill put it as straight as I can- to live a blissful life, you've got to piss some people off... or worry them... or disappoint them. It is impossible to be true to yourself while dutifully obeying others. Some relationships have to be sacrificed. You must let go of anyone who cannot accept you as you truly are or want to be.
The flip side of this... I have found that most people in my life accept me as I am. I imagined far more judgement and disapproval than I actually got. And Ive gotten a lot of unexpected respect and admiration for doing such things as living voluntarily "homeless".
But I can't promise it will always be that way. It doesnt matter. Hesse is right. A hard choice must always be made by those who would follow their bliss: will they serve themselves or will they serve convention and public opinion?
You cannot serve both.
You can't compare yourself with others: if Nature has made you a bat you shouldn't try to be an ostrich. You consider yourself odd at times, you accuse yourself of taking a road different from most people. You have to unlearn that. Gaze into the fire, into the clouds, and as soon as the inner voices begin to speak, surrender to them, don't ask first whether its permitted or would please your teachers or father, or some god. You will ruin yourself if you do that.
--Hermann Hesse
Id say thats right on the money. A true diagnosis of the problem. Most people ruin themselves by constantly worrying about what is permitted. They worry what their teachers will think. They worry what their parents and family will think. They worry what their boss will think... and what their friends will think. Some worry what their minister, priest, or "god" will think.
Through this process they destroy their dreams... and lose their bliss. They become dry husks. They descend into monotony. Some acquire a measure of comfort from the security of monotony. But the more sensitive (ie. most reading this blog) tend to be tortured by what they have given up.
Always it gnaws at them-- that sense of living the wrong life.
Ill put it as straight as I can- to live a blissful life, you've got to piss some people off... or worry them... or disappoint them. It is impossible to be true to yourself while dutifully obeying others. Some relationships have to be sacrificed. You must let go of anyone who cannot accept you as you truly are or want to be.
The flip side of this... I have found that most people in my life accept me as I am. I imagined far more judgement and disapproval than I actually got. And Ive gotten a lot of unexpected respect and admiration for doing such things as living voluntarily "homeless".
But I can't promise it will always be that way. It doesnt matter. Hesse is right. A hard choice must always be made by those who would follow their bliss: will they serve themselves or will they serve convention and public opinion?
You cannot serve both.
Monday, September 19, 2005
Voluntary Experience
by Skald
Ive had a pretty charmed life, in terms of material and economic factors go. Ive never (involutarily) gone hungry, or gone without decent shelter. Ive had all the education I needed (far more than I needed, in fact).
I know many people like myself. But I dont understand many of them. Many who have had similarly charmed lives are filled with hatred and contempt. They accept their good fortune as a sign from "God" that they are superior. They sneer at those with less money, fewer opportunities, the wrong color skin, the wrong accent.
Why? My guess is fear. First, they fear losing all those trinkets and cash that they have, in fact, done very little to deserve. They are terrified of poverty, homelessness, unemployment, and the like. That fears makes them hateful and mean. They turn that hate on that which they fear: the homeless, the impoverished,.....
Another deeper fear, for some, is that know they dont really deserve their superior position.. they sense, deep inside, that they are lucky. And they are terrified that luck might run out.
These people need to suffer. Its the best answer. Preferably, they should suffer voluntarily. Experience, direct contact, and suffering often breed compassion. Its easy to dismiss fearful boogie-men when all you do is read about them or scurry past them (ie. homeless people). But if you've actually lived homeless for a while, talked to homeless people, had direct contact with the difficulties of that experience..... you tend to be less afraid, and more compassionate.
Living semi-homeless (in my car, and later, a van) was one of the best experiences of my life. And one of the most genuinely spiritual. Most people consider reading a fucking book and going to a building once a week as "religion". But to my mind, genuine religion (spirituality) must involve an expansion of awareness and compassion.
That does not come from an overly translated, obtuse book. It only comes from experience.
Ive had a pretty charmed life, in terms of material and economic factors go. Ive never (involutarily) gone hungry, or gone without decent shelter. Ive had all the education I needed (far more than I needed, in fact).
I know many people like myself. But I dont understand many of them. Many who have had similarly charmed lives are filled with hatred and contempt. They accept their good fortune as a sign from "God" that they are superior. They sneer at those with less money, fewer opportunities, the wrong color skin, the wrong accent.
Why? My guess is fear. First, they fear losing all those trinkets and cash that they have, in fact, done very little to deserve. They are terrified of poverty, homelessness, unemployment, and the like. That fears makes them hateful and mean. They turn that hate on that which they fear: the homeless, the impoverished,.....
Another deeper fear, for some, is that know they dont really deserve their superior position.. they sense, deep inside, that they are lucky. And they are terrified that luck might run out.
These people need to suffer. Its the best answer. Preferably, they should suffer voluntarily. Experience, direct contact, and suffering often breed compassion. Its easy to dismiss fearful boogie-men when all you do is read about them or scurry past them (ie. homeless people). But if you've actually lived homeless for a while, talked to homeless people, had direct contact with the difficulties of that experience..... you tend to be less afraid, and more compassionate.
Living semi-homeless (in my car, and later, a van) was one of the best experiences of my life. And one of the most genuinely spiritual. Most people consider reading a fucking book and going to a building once a week as "religion". But to my mind, genuine religion (spirituality) must involve an expansion of awareness and compassion.
That does not come from an overly translated, obtuse book. It only comes from experience.
Tuesday, September 13, 2005
Strange Days
by Skald
Strange days indeed. I am in the very unusual position of doing something I love and getting paid for it. What a novel experience this is. Im having a fantastic time teaching. I go to "work" everyday full of energy and enthusiasm. Im always brainstorming new ideas for teaching. I have superb students. I have the autonomy to do what I want in the classroom.
It doesnt feel like a "job" at all. So it is possible to be passionately engaged in an activity and make an income (though not easy).
Once again, what strikes me as so ironic is how much my "employers" are benefitting from leaving me alone... and giving me a good schedule. By not bugging me or wearing me out, and by not controlling me.. they have inherited a maniac. Im going bananas with innovative ideas. Ive got incredible energy during class. Im having a fantastic time and thus doing so much more for my students. Im not a drone or a clock puncher.
So why the fuck do most organizations do the opposite? Is it that they only care about the quick buck... exploit the workers and drain 'em for everything they have.. then move on to the next one? Is it that they have fragile egos and get off on the petty power trip of being "the boss"? Is it that they are horribly insecure and dread being "found out"... and so they disguise this fear with bully behavior?
Truth be told, I dont care why they do it. Im sick to death of working for and with egomaniacs, insecure assholes, control-freaks, drones, cynics, bureaucrats, and toadies. Living "homeless" was far superior to most of my job experiences.
And so Im particularly euphoric right now... doing something I love... something I would quickly volunteer to do... and getting paid for it.
My take home message from this (and you know I always have to find a take home message): Be mercenary. Never stay at a shit job longer than necessary. Never hesitate to leave a job for a better one. Keep moving around till you have the autonomy, income, and enjoyment you desire.
Freelancing and Free Agency are the only way to go!
Strange days indeed. I am in the very unusual position of doing something I love and getting paid for it. What a novel experience this is. Im having a fantastic time teaching. I go to "work" everyday full of energy and enthusiasm. Im always brainstorming new ideas for teaching. I have superb students. I have the autonomy to do what I want in the classroom.
It doesnt feel like a "job" at all. So it is possible to be passionately engaged in an activity and make an income (though not easy).
Once again, what strikes me as so ironic is how much my "employers" are benefitting from leaving me alone... and giving me a good schedule. By not bugging me or wearing me out, and by not controlling me.. they have inherited a maniac. Im going bananas with innovative ideas. Ive got incredible energy during class. Im having a fantastic time and thus doing so much more for my students. Im not a drone or a clock puncher.
So why the fuck do most organizations do the opposite? Is it that they only care about the quick buck... exploit the workers and drain 'em for everything they have.. then move on to the next one? Is it that they have fragile egos and get off on the petty power trip of being "the boss"? Is it that they are horribly insecure and dread being "found out"... and so they disguise this fear with bully behavior?
Truth be told, I dont care why they do it. Im sick to death of working for and with egomaniacs, insecure assholes, control-freaks, drones, cynics, bureaucrats, and toadies. Living "homeless" was far superior to most of my job experiences.
And so Im particularly euphoric right now... doing something I love... something I would quickly volunteer to do... and getting paid for it.
My take home message from this (and you know I always have to find a take home message): Be mercenary. Never stay at a shit job longer than necessary. Never hesitate to leave a job for a better one. Keep moving around till you have the autonomy, income, and enjoyment you desire.
Freelancing and Free Agency are the only way to go!
Tuesday, September 06, 2005
Bury Them
by Skald
Its the same almost everywhere.... its not enough that people who are homeless must struggle with the basic difficulties of their situation. No, on top of hunger, the stress of sleeping in public, the elements, etc... homeless people the world over are subjected to brutal harassment.
Its no different in Bangkok. This week, a large group of homeless people were "evacuated" from Sanam Luang... a large public field that adjoins the Grand Palace. By "evacuate" I mean they were rounded up by police armed with clubs, bullet proof vests, and guns... and drug away. What was their "crime": Sleeping? Being dirty and ugly? Making tourists and the wealthy feel uneasy?
Number three is the true answer. The smug and well off are not content to live in their McMansions, drive their obscene vehicles, dine in upscale restaurants. They arent content to drive down wages and bust unions and create unemployment. Nope.Not only do they insist on being smug, safe, comfortable, and pampered... they cant bear to be reminded of the suffering of other people.
The homeless people's crime was existing. Rich people dont like to be reminded that they exist. And they certainly dont want to come in contact with these nasty people. And so the order goes out, the "scum" are rounded up... and shipped off to a warehouse or slum somewhere. Ahhhh... the rich rest easy. Tourists are spared inconvenience. Everyone pretends this is the correct and sensible thing to do.
Disgusting. Criminal. Downright evil. Thats what it is.
The truth is, most countries have now criminalized homelessness. If you are homeless, you cannot exist without being a criminal. If you piss or shit, you are breaking the law ("public urination"). If you sleep, you are breaking the law ("trespassing"). If you rest in one place, you are breaking the law ("loitering"). If you ask for help, you are breaking the law ("soliciting"). If you have sex, you are breaking the law ("public indecency").
What this means in practice is that the police have a license to harrass a homeless person at will. They can interrupt their sleep, prevent them from sitting on a bench, forcibly relocate them. Since every basic human function of a homeless person is illegal... they are automatically criminals. When I lived in my car.. I broke the law everytime I went to sleep at night. Only my clean white face and neat clothes saved me from suspicion and harassment.
This is the ugly truth: The well off, the suburbanites, the "responsible and employed" detest poor people... especially homeless people. And there is no real difference between the latte-liberals and the rabid right-wingers. Both detest the poor. The conservatives would be happy if they could all be gassed in chambers or drowned in the Mississippi (though they'll never admit this openly)... while the liberals want them warehoused and benignly imprisoned out of sight (ie. put in to shelters). The liberals then congratulate themselves for being so generous and high-minded.
Which is why Ive always known that the only hope homeless people have is themselves. Thats why Dignity Village is important.... because its a place where homeless people are taking care of themselves.
Why not a homeless people's union?
Its the same almost everywhere.... its not enough that people who are homeless must struggle with the basic difficulties of their situation. No, on top of hunger, the stress of sleeping in public, the elements, etc... homeless people the world over are subjected to brutal harassment.
Its no different in Bangkok. This week, a large group of homeless people were "evacuated" from Sanam Luang... a large public field that adjoins the Grand Palace. By "evacuate" I mean they were rounded up by police armed with clubs, bullet proof vests, and guns... and drug away. What was their "crime": Sleeping? Being dirty and ugly? Making tourists and the wealthy feel uneasy?
Number three is the true answer. The smug and well off are not content to live in their McMansions, drive their obscene vehicles, dine in upscale restaurants. They arent content to drive down wages and bust unions and create unemployment. Nope.Not only do they insist on being smug, safe, comfortable, and pampered... they cant bear to be reminded of the suffering of other people.
The homeless people's crime was existing. Rich people dont like to be reminded that they exist. And they certainly dont want to come in contact with these nasty people. And so the order goes out, the "scum" are rounded up... and shipped off to a warehouse or slum somewhere. Ahhhh... the rich rest easy. Tourists are spared inconvenience. Everyone pretends this is the correct and sensible thing to do.
Disgusting. Criminal. Downright evil. Thats what it is.
The truth is, most countries have now criminalized homelessness. If you are homeless, you cannot exist without being a criminal. If you piss or shit, you are breaking the law ("public urination"). If you sleep, you are breaking the law ("trespassing"). If you rest in one place, you are breaking the law ("loitering"). If you ask for help, you are breaking the law ("soliciting"). If you have sex, you are breaking the law ("public indecency").
What this means in practice is that the police have a license to harrass a homeless person at will. They can interrupt their sleep, prevent them from sitting on a bench, forcibly relocate them. Since every basic human function of a homeless person is illegal... they are automatically criminals. When I lived in my car.. I broke the law everytime I went to sleep at night. Only my clean white face and neat clothes saved me from suspicion and harassment.
This is the ugly truth: The well off, the suburbanites, the "responsible and employed" detest poor people... especially homeless people. And there is no real difference between the latte-liberals and the rabid right-wingers. Both detest the poor. The conservatives would be happy if they could all be gassed in chambers or drowned in the Mississippi (though they'll never admit this openly)... while the liberals want them warehoused and benignly imprisoned out of sight (ie. put in to shelters). The liberals then congratulate themselves for being so generous and high-minded.
Which is why Ive always known that the only hope homeless people have is themselves. Thats why Dignity Village is important.... because its a place where homeless people are taking care of themselves.
Why not a homeless people's union?
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